Ernest Bond Paxson
Born: 9/14/13 at 8:59pm
Weight: 7 lbs 14 oz
Length: 20.75 in
What a stud at one week!
Big yawn.
Contemplating in his sleep.
Uh-oh!
Love those feet!
Snuggling himself.
Piercing stare.
Monday, October 14, 2013
Saturday, October 5, 2013
My Birth Story
It feels a little weird to even write the title. I have a birth story. I had spent 41 weeks, and probably some time before that, imagining what my birth story would be. I read others' birth stories, I asked to hear your birth stories, and I imagined what mine might be like. I did not imagine this birth story, but this is how my story goes. (Below you will find all the glorious and gory details. Feel free to skip right on down to the pictures if that is more your style).
Let me first paint a small picture of all the prep work I did to prepare for my birthing time. It felt like for 9 months I researched every possible intervention to make make sure I understood the risks and benefits associated with it. (Like did you know that repeated exposure to ultrasounds has been linked to brain damage in animals? Yet ultrasounds are now preformed routinely on pregnant women without any research to support this practice. We felt comfortable with the one short ultrasound between 20-22 weeks, but opted out of any other ultrasounds). I have always wanted to have an unmedicated birth and along with my research we signed up and took a hypnobabies class to help prepare us for the birthing experience. I made a birth plan with my preferences. A basic summary of my birth plan would be least interventions possible. I wanted to have a natural birth, I wanted my body to do its thing, and I wanted to experience birth. The biggest thing I wanted to avoid was a C-section and with all the research I read the most sure way to stay away from a c-section is to stay away from interventions as well, so that was our plan going into it. Plans... they are a funny thing...
I was 40 weeks and 6 days when I woke up to some waves (contractions) at around 3am. I was able to sleep through them till 4, and then went to the couch and continued to sleep through them until about 5:15ish. Then I just laid there, thinking this could be it. I had lost my mucus plug a few days earlier and really had not had any pre-birthing time waves so I was hopeful this was the real deal. Out of all the things I wanted to have happen during my birth story, only a couple things actually did, and this was the first one!
Success #1: I always imagined my birthing time beginning in the early morning, and it did!
At around 5:50-6:50am I timed my waves. They were 7 minutes apart but not very intense at all. For the next two hours I packed my hospital bag, had Marshall make me breakfast, and just enjoyed myself. Between 9-10am my waves slowed to 10 minutes apart... which I was sad about but right after 10am they began coming a lot quicker. And for the next 5 hours they were consistently 4-5 minutes apart. I remember pulling out some frozen cookie dough and cooking some cookies for the nurses (as it turns out I ended up forgetting the cookies so they never did get them! Sorry!). We then had an appointment scheduled at our clinic so we went in and they did a non-stress test which confirmed I was having contractions, but the midwife told me I would be able to tell when I was getting closer because things wouldn't be quite so fun inbetween waves anymore. We left, got lunch and went back home. By this time I was experimenting with different positions and Marshall was doing pressure points on me to see what I liked. Waves were getting more and more intense as the time went on, but nothing too intense. Around 2pm my friend Kalli showed up. I had asked her to be part of my birthing team so that Marshall didn't have to do everything. I am so grateful that she was able to come and the help she offered was priceless.
By 3pm Kalli was a little nervous that my waves were consistently 4-5 minutes apart and we weren't at the hospital (they tell you to go in when they are 3-5 minutes apart). She had a point. Why weren't we at the hospital? I guess it just didn't quite feel real to me, and I was waiting for the waves to get a little more intense. We began to slowly prepare to go. We loaded the car. I ate something. And then right as I could not think of another reason to stall I had a more intense wave, and said, 'Let's go.' The waves continued to intensify as we arrived at the hospital and then as they strapped the monitors on me and had me sit in triage. It was no longer fun between waves and I was glad we were already at the hospital. The hour that I was hooked up to the monitors in triage was not fun! I was so happy when she came in after an hour to check me for progression so we could get to our room. Now part of my birth plan was that I didn't want to know how dilated I was because I knew that I could easily be discouraged by that number. I instead asked them to only share that information with Marshall. After my hour long adventure in Triage I was told that I wasn't progressing and I needed to go home and labor there longer before I could be admitted. I won't lie, I started crying. While I didn't know what I was dilated to I did know that it was less than a 4 and that I hadn't dilated 1cm in the hour I was in Triage. As it turns out I later found out I was only dilated to 2cm at that point.
This was one of my emotional lows. I didn't realize it would be so hard to get sent home from the hospital. And I think one reason it was so hard to get sent home was because the waves were getting very intense and not being in the hospital made the birth feel so far away (and turns out it was). We decided to go home and I got in the shower in order to help relax me. The shower was nice. I stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out. That is the down side of living in this apartment complex. Once I was out, Marshall and I decided a bath would be a good idea for me at this point. Unfortunately we had no more hot water, so we called a friend and went to her house to use her tub. Kalli met us there.
The tub was more relaxing. Mostly the water helped inbetween waves, more than with the wave itself. I tried to eat something while I was in the tub, but I didn't get much down. I really have no idea when we got in the tub or how long we were there. I know eventually I got out because the water had cooled. While we could have refilled it, I instead opted to sit on the birth ball (exercise ball) and rest my head on the edge of the bed. At this point Kalli decided to start timing my waves. It didn't take long for Kalli and my other friend to surmise that I was in transition. They said I had all the signs. My waves were 2-3 min apart, one lasting upwards of 5 min. They were extremely intense. I was shaking, and in a few minutes I would feel like throwing up. When they told me it was time to go to the hospital, I just told them I couldn't go. I didn't want to get in the car. Obviously they ended up convincing me, but Marshall rode in the back with me, holding me and doing pressure points the whole ride there.
We arrived at the hospital at the hospital around midnight, so 7 hours after we had been sent home. Camilia met us at the hospital to be present when the baby came to take pictures. They took us to triage, checked how dilated I was and hooked me up to the monitors and I was told they would check me again in an hour. I was so confused at this point. I was certain that I had dilated enough that they wouldn't need to leave me in triage for another hour. However, I never verbalized my confusion because it took everything I had to work through the waves I was experiencing. It turns out we were in triage for almost two hours. It was during this time that I finally put on my hypnobabies sound tracks and I was able to relax enough in between waves to fall asleep. While we had been doing hypnobabies cues the entire time, my one regret is that I didn't listen to the tracks earlier. For some reason I thought it would be too hard to focus on them between waves, but they were very relaxing. Finally we were told during my time in triage I had only progressed 1/2cm. And they wanted to send me home to progress further before they admitted me.
This was my second low point. In my mind I knew that the most I could be was 4cm and even that was discouraging. A few minutes later a different nurse came in and accidentally announced how dilated I actually was, 3cm. That means for 7 hours at home I had only dilated 1cm! This was the moment that I understood how women and children could die in childbirth.This is the moment I began doubting that my body knew what it was suppose to do. In retrospect, I now describe my body as being confused (and as you read on you will understand more of why I say that). My body was reacting to 3cm the way a lot of bodies react when they are in transition. This was the moment I didn't think I could do this much longer. Let alone 1cm every 7 hours longer. It was 2am. I had been up for 23 hours. I was exhausted. I was in intense labor. And they wanted to send me home!? For the next hour I begged Marshall to tell the nurse I wanted an epidural. And for the next hour he kept encouraging me that I could do this. I wasn't very happy with him in that moment. I wanted him to be supportive of me and what I wanted or perhaps even needed. Eventually I told him I didn't need him, that I can take care of myself and I walked out of Triage and told a nurse I would like to get the epidural.
Later, Marshall was able to explain to me that he wanted to make getting the epidural difficult so that that when I looked back on it I wouldn't feel like I failed for getting it. That I would be able to look back and know that it was what I needed and may have even allowed me to continue to labor and bring our baby into this world. I am so grateful for his insight. As I look back on the decision to get the epidural and I ask myself how I feel about it? Obviously I wish my birth would have progressed textbook style. If that had been the case I would have been well into recovery when I was just getting the epidural. I fully expected an 8, 12, 16, or even 20 hour birth. But to be 24 hours into it and dilated to 3cm, was not something I even remotely considered. Do I regret getting the epidural? No. But I still wish it could have gone differently. I still wish I could have progressed faster, or that my body wouldn't have been so confused. And who knows how my body would have progressed without an epidural. Most of me feels like we took the path that our birth story took us, and then there is a small piece of me that wonders if I failed. I don't listen to that piece a lot, and even just acknowledging that it is there, almost makes it go away.
Anyway, on with the story. At 4am I got the 'walking' epidural. I can't actually walk with it, but I can move my legs in the bed and I am not completely numb. It came on really strong so initially it really numbed me, which was nice for me and my birthing team because we were all able to get a few hours of crappy but much needed sleep. At 8:30am the new midwife on call came in to the hospital and we were able to discuss with her how things were going (at this point I would just like to say it sure would have been nice to have had a midwife around before the epidural to discuss options/risks/benefits of the epidural. They wouldn't let us talk to her, instead they would call her and get the OK. It was frustrating and the next time around I am going to be more pushy about actually speaking with the midwife before doing any interventions. They are the expert so it would be nice to talk to them before we make these major decisions. Enough about that). The epidural had slowed my waves and progress-hard to imagine that could be possible. So we discussed different options to try and get my body to progress quicker. After discussion and a blessing we decided to break my water.
Success #2: Saturday my favorite midwife came on call at 8am. I was praying I would be able to birth with her and that was the only good thing about entering my 29th hour of labor.
My water was broken at 10:15am. For the next two hours I did not have one contraction. Not one. See my body was super confused. This was Marshall's lowest point. After the first hour the midwife-Claudia came in and said, 'hmm... no contractions. Let's give it another hour to see how you respond.' It was reassuring to me that she seemed so calm about it, but I knew I didn't want to have to do any more interventions so for the next hour I repeated over and over to myself that my body was progressing and this baby was coming. At 12:15, almost exactly two hours after they broke my water my waves started back up again and Claudia was content to let my body progress from there.
It took another almost 7 hours for my body to dilate to a 10. Those 7 hours were more intense than you may imagine with an epidural. Like I said the epidural comes on strong but then it fades away. They give you a booster button, but I really tried not to use it because I really enjoyed working through my waves. I was feeling a lot of pressure, and Kalli and Camilia were doing pressure points on my back and knees, Marshall was near my head and helping me to breath and stay focused and we had hypnobabies on in the background. At two different times in this phase I threw up. It wasn't pleasant, but that was the only time I was grateful that all I had eaten since 8pm Friday was juice, popsicles, jello, and water. I am grateful I was able to feel like an active participant in the birth even with an epidural.
Once I was dilated to a 10 we began talking about how my waves were not very close together and if I did try pushing the baby may just recede back between waves. We discussed Pitocin but Claudia wanted to try pushing without it first. For 15 minutes I pushed. And I made little progress because he just receded back. Yet again, my body was so confused! If my 3cm phase could have been my 10cm phase I would have been fine. We decided to take a 30 minute break and give me a low dose of Pitocin to bring my waves closer together. After just pushing for 15 minutes, I was exhausted. I am sure the whole 40 hours of labor had something to do with it as well, but I really had no idea how I was going to find the strength to push this baby out. At one point during the preliminary pushing Claudia said something about seeing hair on the baby in the middle of me trying to push. I just broke down and started bawling and couldn't push after that. I think that is when we took our break. Later they kept asking me if I wanted a mirror, but I was too scared I would get emotional if I could see it, and then not be able to push. I refused the mirror and didn't want any feedback that might make me cry. I had a baby to get out! I have to give a shout out to Marshall, Kalli, and Camilia! They really were amazing and were there any time I needed anything. I never could have down this without them. Anything I needed they were right there and that saved me so much energy!
At 7:45, with Pitocin and waves closer together I began to push. We had a few extra people in the delivery room with us because the baby had had a bowel movement in my water and they were worried that he may have swallowed some of it. I was lying on my back and Marshall and Kalli were each holding up one leg for me. I am not sure how long I pushed in this position but some really strong instincts were taking over in my body. I am not sure how to describe them other than animalistic. Something within me was telling me what I needed to do and I wasn't listening to anyone else. First I was so hot. I was working so hard and before I knew it I had ripped my hospital gown off of me and tore away the monitors they had around my stomach. I remember seeing Camilia fanning me from above and it felt so good!
Next I told Claudia that I wanted to push from my knees. It just felt like the right position, and that I would be much more efficient. As soon as I mentioned this I got a lot of feedback from the next push that I had made a lot of progress, so we all kind of forgot about it. But after some more time I again mentioned it. She was worried about how I would be able to support myself because the epidural makes you weak even though you can still feel and move your legs. It may be good to mention here, that the epidural had stopped dripping into me a while ago. They had asked me if I wanted a refill, and I don't even remember responding to them. So when I was ready to flip around the epidural was almost completely out of my system. So while Claudia wanted to talk about how I was going to flip, I just flipped over. I remember hearing her respond in shock as she watched me flip over all by myself.
Once on my knees I didn't have to push for very long before he completely crowned and his head came out, I paused briefly to make sure the cord wasn't around his neck (when I say briefly I mean briefly, I had no idea if she even had enough time to really check). Then I kept pushing and out he came. As I was turning back around I heard Marshall say, 'It's a boy,' and pump fist the air, in the I told you so way. And then they handed him to me.
Success #3: I vaginally delivered my baby!
We only got to hold him for a couple minutes because he wasn't quite breathing like they wanted him to. He had yet to take a good deep breath. Marshall quickly cut the cord and they took him right next to my bed where all those extra people in the delivery room finally had something to do. The next thing I remember is looking down and seeing my placenta.
Success #4: My placenta detached naturally, and I didn't have to push or anything for it to come out.
And then I saw a lot of blood. And Claudia began kneading my stomach. Now that my friends is painful! Marshall, having gone to watch our baby boy, returned now to my side as she kept kneading me. He was definitely nervous for all the blood I was losing and I can only imagine how it felt for him to have his wife losing blood and his son receiving help to breath properly. I just felt out of it, so it was a lot less scary for me. Luckily I was already hooked up to Pitocin so they were able to quickly increase my dosage to help stop the bleeding. It did stop. And then we were quickly told that our baby was still not breathing deeply and they wanted to take him downstairs. I didn't want them to take him, but breathing is pretty important. Marshall went with him and I got cleaned and stitched upped and we moved me to the recovery room. I got to go see baby Ernest and Marshall for a few minutes, but I knew that I needed to eat something even though I had absolutely no appetite. Camilia and Taylor stayed with me until Marshall and Ernest could come to our room and Camilia took a few pictures.
Marshall, Ernest, and I were able to spend some time together before we were ready to go to bed, and we sent Ernest to the nursery so that someone could keep an eye on his breathing. We never had any more hiccups with his breathing after that. Once he got going the champ never stopped!
Success #5: We have a healthy little boy!
Well that is my story. Maybe a little more detail than you were looking for, but it is what it is. Below you will find some amazing pictures captured by Camilia Lund. I am amazed she was able to get as many pictures as she did with such a short window to get them in. She truly is a gifted photographer! Good Job Camilia!
Let me first paint a small picture of all the prep work I did to prepare for my birthing time. It felt like for 9 months I researched every possible intervention to make make sure I understood the risks and benefits associated with it. (Like did you know that repeated exposure to ultrasounds has been linked to brain damage in animals? Yet ultrasounds are now preformed routinely on pregnant women without any research to support this practice. We felt comfortable with the one short ultrasound between 20-22 weeks, but opted out of any other ultrasounds). I have always wanted to have an unmedicated birth and along with my research we signed up and took a hypnobabies class to help prepare us for the birthing experience. I made a birth plan with my preferences. A basic summary of my birth plan would be least interventions possible. I wanted to have a natural birth, I wanted my body to do its thing, and I wanted to experience birth. The biggest thing I wanted to avoid was a C-section and with all the research I read the most sure way to stay away from a c-section is to stay away from interventions as well, so that was our plan going into it. Plans... they are a funny thing...
I was 40 weeks and 6 days when I woke up to some waves (contractions) at around 3am. I was able to sleep through them till 4, and then went to the couch and continued to sleep through them until about 5:15ish. Then I just laid there, thinking this could be it. I had lost my mucus plug a few days earlier and really had not had any pre-birthing time waves so I was hopeful this was the real deal. Out of all the things I wanted to have happen during my birth story, only a couple things actually did, and this was the first one!
Success #1: I always imagined my birthing time beginning in the early morning, and it did!
At around 5:50-6:50am I timed my waves. They were 7 minutes apart but not very intense at all. For the next two hours I packed my hospital bag, had Marshall make me breakfast, and just enjoyed myself. Between 9-10am my waves slowed to 10 minutes apart... which I was sad about but right after 10am they began coming a lot quicker. And for the next 5 hours they were consistently 4-5 minutes apart. I remember pulling out some frozen cookie dough and cooking some cookies for the nurses (as it turns out I ended up forgetting the cookies so they never did get them! Sorry!). We then had an appointment scheduled at our clinic so we went in and they did a non-stress test which confirmed I was having contractions, but the midwife told me I would be able to tell when I was getting closer because things wouldn't be quite so fun inbetween waves anymore. We left, got lunch and went back home. By this time I was experimenting with different positions and Marshall was doing pressure points on me to see what I liked. Waves were getting more and more intense as the time went on, but nothing too intense. Around 2pm my friend Kalli showed up. I had asked her to be part of my birthing team so that Marshall didn't have to do everything. I am so grateful that she was able to come and the help she offered was priceless.
By 3pm Kalli was a little nervous that my waves were consistently 4-5 minutes apart and we weren't at the hospital (they tell you to go in when they are 3-5 minutes apart). She had a point. Why weren't we at the hospital? I guess it just didn't quite feel real to me, and I was waiting for the waves to get a little more intense. We began to slowly prepare to go. We loaded the car. I ate something. And then right as I could not think of another reason to stall I had a more intense wave, and said, 'Let's go.' The waves continued to intensify as we arrived at the hospital and then as they strapped the monitors on me and had me sit in triage. It was no longer fun between waves and I was glad we were already at the hospital. The hour that I was hooked up to the monitors in triage was not fun! I was so happy when she came in after an hour to check me for progression so we could get to our room. Now part of my birth plan was that I didn't want to know how dilated I was because I knew that I could easily be discouraged by that number. I instead asked them to only share that information with Marshall. After my hour long adventure in Triage I was told that I wasn't progressing and I needed to go home and labor there longer before I could be admitted. I won't lie, I started crying. While I didn't know what I was dilated to I did know that it was less than a 4 and that I hadn't dilated 1cm in the hour I was in Triage. As it turns out I later found out I was only dilated to 2cm at that point.
This was one of my emotional lows. I didn't realize it would be so hard to get sent home from the hospital. And I think one reason it was so hard to get sent home was because the waves were getting very intense and not being in the hospital made the birth feel so far away (and turns out it was). We decided to go home and I got in the shower in order to help relax me. The shower was nice. I stayed in the shower until the hot water ran out. That is the down side of living in this apartment complex. Once I was out, Marshall and I decided a bath would be a good idea for me at this point. Unfortunately we had no more hot water, so we called a friend and went to her house to use her tub. Kalli met us there.
The tub was more relaxing. Mostly the water helped inbetween waves, more than with the wave itself. I tried to eat something while I was in the tub, but I didn't get much down. I really have no idea when we got in the tub or how long we were there. I know eventually I got out because the water had cooled. While we could have refilled it, I instead opted to sit on the birth ball (exercise ball) and rest my head on the edge of the bed. At this point Kalli decided to start timing my waves. It didn't take long for Kalli and my other friend to surmise that I was in transition. They said I had all the signs. My waves were 2-3 min apart, one lasting upwards of 5 min. They were extremely intense. I was shaking, and in a few minutes I would feel like throwing up. When they told me it was time to go to the hospital, I just told them I couldn't go. I didn't want to get in the car. Obviously they ended up convincing me, but Marshall rode in the back with me, holding me and doing pressure points the whole ride there.
We arrived at the hospital at the hospital around midnight, so 7 hours after we had been sent home. Camilia met us at the hospital to be present when the baby came to take pictures. They took us to triage, checked how dilated I was and hooked me up to the monitors and I was told they would check me again in an hour. I was so confused at this point. I was certain that I had dilated enough that they wouldn't need to leave me in triage for another hour. However, I never verbalized my confusion because it took everything I had to work through the waves I was experiencing. It turns out we were in triage for almost two hours. It was during this time that I finally put on my hypnobabies sound tracks and I was able to relax enough in between waves to fall asleep. While we had been doing hypnobabies cues the entire time, my one regret is that I didn't listen to the tracks earlier. For some reason I thought it would be too hard to focus on them between waves, but they were very relaxing. Finally we were told during my time in triage I had only progressed 1/2cm. And they wanted to send me home to progress further before they admitted me.
This was my second low point. In my mind I knew that the most I could be was 4cm and even that was discouraging. A few minutes later a different nurse came in and accidentally announced how dilated I actually was, 3cm. That means for 7 hours at home I had only dilated 1cm! This was the moment that I understood how women and children could die in childbirth.This is the moment I began doubting that my body knew what it was suppose to do. In retrospect, I now describe my body as being confused (and as you read on you will understand more of why I say that). My body was reacting to 3cm the way a lot of bodies react when they are in transition. This was the moment I didn't think I could do this much longer. Let alone 1cm every 7 hours longer. It was 2am. I had been up for 23 hours. I was exhausted. I was in intense labor. And they wanted to send me home!? For the next hour I begged Marshall to tell the nurse I wanted an epidural. And for the next hour he kept encouraging me that I could do this. I wasn't very happy with him in that moment. I wanted him to be supportive of me and what I wanted or perhaps even needed. Eventually I told him I didn't need him, that I can take care of myself and I walked out of Triage and told a nurse I would like to get the epidural.
Later, Marshall was able to explain to me that he wanted to make getting the epidural difficult so that that when I looked back on it I wouldn't feel like I failed for getting it. That I would be able to look back and know that it was what I needed and may have even allowed me to continue to labor and bring our baby into this world. I am so grateful for his insight. As I look back on the decision to get the epidural and I ask myself how I feel about it? Obviously I wish my birth would have progressed textbook style. If that had been the case I would have been well into recovery when I was just getting the epidural. I fully expected an 8, 12, 16, or even 20 hour birth. But to be 24 hours into it and dilated to 3cm, was not something I even remotely considered. Do I regret getting the epidural? No. But I still wish it could have gone differently. I still wish I could have progressed faster, or that my body wouldn't have been so confused. And who knows how my body would have progressed without an epidural. Most of me feels like we took the path that our birth story took us, and then there is a small piece of me that wonders if I failed. I don't listen to that piece a lot, and even just acknowledging that it is there, almost makes it go away.
Anyway, on with the story. At 4am I got the 'walking' epidural. I can't actually walk with it, but I can move my legs in the bed and I am not completely numb. It came on really strong so initially it really numbed me, which was nice for me and my birthing team because we were all able to get a few hours of crappy but much needed sleep. At 8:30am the new midwife on call came in to the hospital and we were able to discuss with her how things were going (at this point I would just like to say it sure would have been nice to have had a midwife around before the epidural to discuss options/risks/benefits of the epidural. They wouldn't let us talk to her, instead they would call her and get the OK. It was frustrating and the next time around I am going to be more pushy about actually speaking with the midwife before doing any interventions. They are the expert so it would be nice to talk to them before we make these major decisions. Enough about that). The epidural had slowed my waves and progress-hard to imagine that could be possible. So we discussed different options to try and get my body to progress quicker. After discussion and a blessing we decided to break my water.
Success #2: Saturday my favorite midwife came on call at 8am. I was praying I would be able to birth with her and that was the only good thing about entering my 29th hour of labor.
My water was broken at 10:15am. For the next two hours I did not have one contraction. Not one. See my body was super confused. This was Marshall's lowest point. After the first hour the midwife-Claudia came in and said, 'hmm... no contractions. Let's give it another hour to see how you respond.' It was reassuring to me that she seemed so calm about it, but I knew I didn't want to have to do any more interventions so for the next hour I repeated over and over to myself that my body was progressing and this baby was coming. At 12:15, almost exactly two hours after they broke my water my waves started back up again and Claudia was content to let my body progress from there.
It took another almost 7 hours for my body to dilate to a 10. Those 7 hours were more intense than you may imagine with an epidural. Like I said the epidural comes on strong but then it fades away. They give you a booster button, but I really tried not to use it because I really enjoyed working through my waves. I was feeling a lot of pressure, and Kalli and Camilia were doing pressure points on my back and knees, Marshall was near my head and helping me to breath and stay focused and we had hypnobabies on in the background. At two different times in this phase I threw up. It wasn't pleasant, but that was the only time I was grateful that all I had eaten since 8pm Friday was juice, popsicles, jello, and water. I am grateful I was able to feel like an active participant in the birth even with an epidural.
Once I was dilated to a 10 we began talking about how my waves were not very close together and if I did try pushing the baby may just recede back between waves. We discussed Pitocin but Claudia wanted to try pushing without it first. For 15 minutes I pushed. And I made little progress because he just receded back. Yet again, my body was so confused! If my 3cm phase could have been my 10cm phase I would have been fine. We decided to take a 30 minute break and give me a low dose of Pitocin to bring my waves closer together. After just pushing for 15 minutes, I was exhausted. I am sure the whole 40 hours of labor had something to do with it as well, but I really had no idea how I was going to find the strength to push this baby out. At one point during the preliminary pushing Claudia said something about seeing hair on the baby in the middle of me trying to push. I just broke down and started bawling and couldn't push after that. I think that is when we took our break. Later they kept asking me if I wanted a mirror, but I was too scared I would get emotional if I could see it, and then not be able to push. I refused the mirror and didn't want any feedback that might make me cry. I had a baby to get out! I have to give a shout out to Marshall, Kalli, and Camilia! They really were amazing and were there any time I needed anything. I never could have down this without them. Anything I needed they were right there and that saved me so much energy!
At 7:45, with Pitocin and waves closer together I began to push. We had a few extra people in the delivery room with us because the baby had had a bowel movement in my water and they were worried that he may have swallowed some of it. I was lying on my back and Marshall and Kalli were each holding up one leg for me. I am not sure how long I pushed in this position but some really strong instincts were taking over in my body. I am not sure how to describe them other than animalistic. Something within me was telling me what I needed to do and I wasn't listening to anyone else. First I was so hot. I was working so hard and before I knew it I had ripped my hospital gown off of me and tore away the monitors they had around my stomach. I remember seeing Camilia fanning me from above and it felt so good!
Next I told Claudia that I wanted to push from my knees. It just felt like the right position, and that I would be much more efficient. As soon as I mentioned this I got a lot of feedback from the next push that I had made a lot of progress, so we all kind of forgot about it. But after some more time I again mentioned it. She was worried about how I would be able to support myself because the epidural makes you weak even though you can still feel and move your legs. It may be good to mention here, that the epidural had stopped dripping into me a while ago. They had asked me if I wanted a refill, and I don't even remember responding to them. So when I was ready to flip around the epidural was almost completely out of my system. So while Claudia wanted to talk about how I was going to flip, I just flipped over. I remember hearing her respond in shock as she watched me flip over all by myself.
Once on my knees I didn't have to push for very long before he completely crowned and his head came out, I paused briefly to make sure the cord wasn't around his neck (when I say briefly I mean briefly, I had no idea if she even had enough time to really check). Then I kept pushing and out he came. As I was turning back around I heard Marshall say, 'It's a boy,' and pump fist the air, in the I told you so way. And then they handed him to me.
Success #3: I vaginally delivered my baby!
We only got to hold him for a couple minutes because he wasn't quite breathing like they wanted him to. He had yet to take a good deep breath. Marshall quickly cut the cord and they took him right next to my bed where all those extra people in the delivery room finally had something to do. The next thing I remember is looking down and seeing my placenta.
Success #4: My placenta detached naturally, and I didn't have to push or anything for it to come out.
And then I saw a lot of blood. And Claudia began kneading my stomach. Now that my friends is painful! Marshall, having gone to watch our baby boy, returned now to my side as she kept kneading me. He was definitely nervous for all the blood I was losing and I can only imagine how it felt for him to have his wife losing blood and his son receiving help to breath properly. I just felt out of it, so it was a lot less scary for me. Luckily I was already hooked up to Pitocin so they were able to quickly increase my dosage to help stop the bleeding. It did stop. And then we were quickly told that our baby was still not breathing deeply and they wanted to take him downstairs. I didn't want them to take him, but breathing is pretty important. Marshall went with him and I got cleaned and stitched upped and we moved me to the recovery room. I got to go see baby Ernest and Marshall for a few minutes, but I knew that I needed to eat something even though I had absolutely no appetite. Camilia and Taylor stayed with me until Marshall and Ernest could come to our room and Camilia took a few pictures.
Marshall, Ernest, and I were able to spend some time together before we were ready to go to bed, and we sent Ernest to the nursery so that someone could keep an eye on his breathing. We never had any more hiccups with his breathing after that. Once he got going the champ never stopped!
Success #5: We have a healthy little boy!
Well that is my story. Maybe a little more detail than you were looking for, but it is what it is. Below you will find some amazing pictures captured by Camilia Lund. I am amazed she was able to get as many pictures as she did with such a short window to get them in. She truly is a gifted photographer! Good Job Camilia!
This is when we were in Triage the second time. Marshall was the greatest support.
Kalli! She was a huge support and am so thankful she was there for the whole ordeal.
Nurse Judy was great and with us most of our time there. Three hours before Ernest arrived Mandy started her shift and she was amazing! She even gave us a card with some cute socks in it. She was great!
This is Marshall and I during a contraction. Just having him there, close, and with me helped so much!
Pushing. Turns out it's hard.
My amazing midwife Claudia 'catching' Ernest. You can also see Mandy to the right of her.
I was only able to hold Ernest for a few minutes before they had to take him to help him breathe. Here are a few pictures that Camilia took, and there are even more! She did an amazing job with such a short time frame!
First Family Photo
Handing him back to have them help him breathe.
7 lbs 14 oz, 20.75 inches long
While cute little Ernest was getting measured and getting help with his breathing, I got my stomach kneaded.
Once again Marshall proved to be invaluable.
Poor guy had to get an IV the first night.
A few hours after he was born and breathing better.
Momma and son.
His little tongue.
Big yawn.
First posed family photo
So cute. The End.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Look I'm crafty!
Here is one wall in my house that I am mostly satisfied with. I say mostly because it still looks a little colorless to me, or maybe the entire living room/house is colorless. I'm still working on that.
I am satisfied with the wall part because it only cost me around $8 to make it! Notice how I said wall and not shelves and baskets cause pretty much I just had to go buy them. And when you need 8 baskets of a specific size and all the same... Well that means you are just going to have to buckle down and buy them new and not from a discount store. Which if you know me you know that is not how I operate.
Anyway, the wall. Here is what I had to buy: styrofoam wreath, book from DI, 2 frames from DI, and a few of the picture hangers to put on th back of the frames. Everything else I already had on hand, just lying around. Even though I had paid for them at somepoint they are considered free in my book because I am using things that are just lying around. Some of the frames were hand me downs from my step-mom, some were from DI, and one was a gift for our wedding. I had black spray paint already. And I used a very small portion of the burlap we purchased for our wedding.
My favorite part, and the part I probably spent the most time on, was the lettering for the burlap frames. I did some research on the web, and eventually came up with my own plan. The hardest part was picking my font and then getting it in the right size. I had to print it a few different times to get the right size for the frames. Then I simple cut out the letters, shaded them in with a black sharpie so they were a dark lack and no white corners from cutting, and then I glued it to the burlap! Beautiful and FREE! Nothing is better than that.
I still need to print a picture so I guess that'll cost ;) and I'll probably want to put pictures of us with our new little one, but those small improvements will be easy-at least I'm hopin!
I am satisfied with the wall part because it only cost me around $8 to make it! Notice how I said wall and not shelves and baskets cause pretty much I just had to go buy them. And when you need 8 baskets of a specific size and all the same... Well that means you are just going to have to buckle down and buy them new and not from a discount store. Which if you know me you know that is not how I operate.
Anyway, the wall. Here is what I had to buy: styrofoam wreath, book from DI, 2 frames from DI, and a few of the picture hangers to put on th back of the frames. Everything else I already had on hand, just lying around. Even though I had paid for them at somepoint they are considered free in my book because I am using things that are just lying around. Some of the frames were hand me downs from my step-mom, some were from DI, and one was a gift for our wedding. I had black spray paint already. And I used a very small portion of the burlap we purchased for our wedding.
My favorite part, and the part I probably spent the most time on, was the lettering for the burlap frames. I did some research on the web, and eventually came up with my own plan. The hardest part was picking my font and then getting it in the right size. I had to print it a few different times to get the right size for the frames. Then I simple cut out the letters, shaded them in with a black sharpie so they were a dark lack and no white corners from cutting, and then I glued it to the burlap! Beautiful and FREE! Nothing is better than that.
I still need to print a picture so I guess that'll cost ;) and I'll probably want to put pictures of us with our new little one, but those small improvements will be easy-at least I'm hopin!
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
The big P that dominates my life right now
I just posted this article on facebook that talks about the variability in when the baby will come. Apparently there is like a 5 week window that most women deliver in. That's a long time! And yet we tend to fixate on that one special date we've been given.
Well, here is my secret. I usually tell people a different 'due' date every time someone asks me when I am due. Haha so devious, I know! In truth they will probably forget the exact day (I know I usually ask my friends lots of times), so I think I do this more for my benefit. I don't want my mind to get so fixated on that one day that there is so much pressure and disappointment if/when I go past that day.
So when am I due? Suffice it to say, I am due sometime in September. If I am lucky it'll be August and if I am extremely unlucky I guess it would be October. But don't worry, I consider myself a lucky person!
Here are some highlights of the pregnancy right now:
Well, here is my secret. I usually tell people a different 'due' date every time someone asks me when I am due. Haha so devious, I know! In truth they will probably forget the exact day (I know I usually ask my friends lots of times), so I think I do this more for my benefit. I don't want my mind to get so fixated on that one day that there is so much pressure and disappointment if/when I go past that day.
So when am I due? Suffice it to say, I am due sometime in September. If I am lucky it'll be August and if I am extremely unlucky I guess it would be October. But don't worry, I consider myself a lucky person!
Here are some highlights of the pregnancy right now:
- My chair at work is getting a little uncomfortable. Mostly this means I don't lean back, but use my chair more as a stool, sitting straight up.
- Washing the dishes is not fun. My tummy tends to hit the edge of the counter, so I am kinda far away from the sink and have to lean forward to reach the water. This hurts my back.
- I officially sleep with 5 pillows and two blankets rolled up like pillows. It is quite the nest. But I sleep, for the most part, pretty good still. Although turning over is like the biggest deal ever! When did something so easy get so hard!
- I waddle. It actually feels like I have been waddling for a while... but who knows.
- Sometimes I wish I could eat more! My stomach seems so small sometimes, even though I want to eat it feels like my stomach is stretched to the max and there is no way I could possible eat anything else. Today I ate three meals before 1pm. But I may not eat anything else the rest of the day. We will see. It is definitely making me listen to my body when it comes to eating which in my opinion is the best way to eat (Intuitive Eating).
- I'm a little swollen. Like, my wedding ring still fits but it is uncomfortable so I don't wear it. I still fit into all my shoes, but I can tell my feet are also a little swollen. Hoping it just stays at the level it's at.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
If we were on a reality show...
Over the last couple days I have been able to talk to two good friends who have been away for the summer. They are both pretty darn good at instagram and one posts blogs all the time, with the other posting a few times over this summer. It has been so great to feel connected to them in their adventures this summer and know what they have been up to. Talking with each of them was also great, because even though I get to see pictures and read their words, talking just adds so much more. I also realize that knowing something about what the other person is up to before you talk to them only adds to the conversation. So in an attempt to make my happenings more known to friends and family I thought I would share where we are at in one of our journeys.
We are house hunting. This has been the story for one year. That's a long time. We could literally have our own reality show about our ups and downs in the process (hence the title). We are specifically looking for a great investment property (duplex, four-plex, 8-plex) which has proved to be a little bit more tricky than we had hoped. I am sure some of you have heard about all the different places we have hoped would work out and didn't for one reason or another. Well, here is our latest story.
A few weeks ago Marshall went and looked at a few properties. There were three that we were interested in. After discussing it we decided to place an offer on a duplex in Provo. While there were things we weren't excited about, we also knew it would be a pretty solid rental property. After some negotiating our offer was accepted. I was excited. We have had other offers accepted, but it is usually before Marshall has been able to walk through them (thus one of the reasons why investment properties are tricky) and once he walks through them he finds more damage or repairs than is worth it. This time we felt good about it because he had already walked through it, knew a few things that we would want to change/fix but they were very doable. We started to get excited about the extra space we would have, living close to some friends and family, and just the positives of this place. Although, I did try not to totally get sold on the idea in case things fell through.
Yesterday we had the inspection, and I had told myself that as long as things go well during the inspection I felt confident things would go through. I stopped at Home Depot on my way to the inspection to pick up some paint samples. When we first got to the house, the inspector and Marshall began talking about inspecting stuff. My little sister and I quickly began walking through the house, as I had never seen it before. Our calculations were right: it would be a great rental property and home for us for a few years. As we walked downstairs to the basement apartment I was finally ready to hear what the inspector had to say.
So apparently, however many years ago when they remodeled and gutted the house they put all new water pipes in. Which you would think would be a good thing. Except that the pipes they used were absolute crap. Now I am sure Marshall would be able to explain this a lot better, but what I got from it was that any day now the pipes would corrode and begin leaking. It would be a very small leak, but it would leak. We would either need to gut and replace all the pipes now, or wait for them to start leaking and then replace them. And because the leak would be so small, chances are we wouldn't know it was leaking... and we would probably get mold. Gross. And no thank you! Marshall said the pipes are like the pipes we had where we use to live in Canyon Meadows. I know that may not mean a lot to you if you haven't lived there, but I did live there. And I wasn't going to touch those pipes with a 15 foot pole.
So there you have it. One more offer that isn't going to work. Am i disappointed? Sure. More than that though I am just so so so grateful for an inspector who caught this! Can you image how much more disappointed we would be if we had to gut our house in a year? Yuck! And besides that I just feel like something great is going to work out. I have no idea what, but something. We will end up with the right investment property at the right time. I know that God is orchestrating the small details and large plans of our lives. And I can trust Him. It isn't always fun, and I don't always understand, but you don't have to understand to trust. And I just feel good about it, something will work out. And I really just can't wait until it does!!
We are house hunting. This has been the story for one year. That's a long time. We could literally have our own reality show about our ups and downs in the process (hence the title). We are specifically looking for a great investment property (duplex, four-plex, 8-plex) which has proved to be a little bit more tricky than we had hoped. I am sure some of you have heard about all the different places we have hoped would work out and didn't for one reason or another. Well, here is our latest story.
A few weeks ago Marshall went and looked at a few properties. There were three that we were interested in. After discussing it we decided to place an offer on a duplex in Provo. While there were things we weren't excited about, we also knew it would be a pretty solid rental property. After some negotiating our offer was accepted. I was excited. We have had other offers accepted, but it is usually before Marshall has been able to walk through them (thus one of the reasons why investment properties are tricky) and once he walks through them he finds more damage or repairs than is worth it. This time we felt good about it because he had already walked through it, knew a few things that we would want to change/fix but they were very doable. We started to get excited about the extra space we would have, living close to some friends and family, and just the positives of this place. Although, I did try not to totally get sold on the idea in case things fell through.
Yesterday we had the inspection, and I had told myself that as long as things go well during the inspection I felt confident things would go through. I stopped at Home Depot on my way to the inspection to pick up some paint samples. When we first got to the house, the inspector and Marshall began talking about inspecting stuff. My little sister and I quickly began walking through the house, as I had never seen it before. Our calculations were right: it would be a great rental property and home for us for a few years. As we walked downstairs to the basement apartment I was finally ready to hear what the inspector had to say.
So apparently, however many years ago when they remodeled and gutted the house they put all new water pipes in. Which you would think would be a good thing. Except that the pipes they used were absolute crap. Now I am sure Marshall would be able to explain this a lot better, but what I got from it was that any day now the pipes would corrode and begin leaking. It would be a very small leak, but it would leak. We would either need to gut and replace all the pipes now, or wait for them to start leaking and then replace them. And because the leak would be so small, chances are we wouldn't know it was leaking... and we would probably get mold. Gross. And no thank you! Marshall said the pipes are like the pipes we had where we use to live in Canyon Meadows. I know that may not mean a lot to you if you haven't lived there, but I did live there. And I wasn't going to touch those pipes with a 15 foot pole.
So there you have it. One more offer that isn't going to work. Am i disappointed? Sure. More than that though I am just so so so grateful for an inspector who caught this! Can you image how much more disappointed we would be if we had to gut our house in a year? Yuck! And besides that I just feel like something great is going to work out. I have no idea what, but something. We will end up with the right investment property at the right time. I know that God is orchestrating the small details and large plans of our lives. And I can trust Him. It isn't always fun, and I don't always understand, but you don't have to understand to trust. And I just feel good about it, something will work out. And I really just can't wait until it does!!
Saturday, July 20, 2013
Getting closer to the big day!
It's so crazy to think there is a little person inside of me! In some ways pregnancy is totally natural and in other ways completely not what I expected. Like I never expected to get so darn sick day in and day out that first trimester. I did expect to have some crazy strong cravings, but that hasn't really happened. I mean, I've had a few cravings but not at the intensity I thought they would hit. And even though I knew I wouldn't be eating for two, I did think I'd be eating more. However, if you catch me on the right day or moment you would see that the last thing I'd want to do is eat. I always wake up hungry in the morning and have eaten more at breakfast than normal for me, and I usually need a mid morning snack, and can still eat lunch no problem. Then there are days where it stops with lunch. I'm not hungry the rest of the day and eating sounds anything but enjoyable. It's the last thing I thought I would experience in pregnancy. Don't get me wrong, I also have days where it doesn't seem like I could possible get enough to eat. Dinner is my favorite meal so I prefer those days. Occasionally I think I get some mild heartburn (I'm not entirely sure cause I've never had it before). And other days where, even though I haven't eaten very much, my tummy fills as full as it can possible get. I guess with that baby in there your stomach is a little squished after all. I just think it is so interesting how our bodies react to pregnancy. Different for everyone. For me food and sleep have been important factors in feeling my best this third trimester. Just ask Marshall, if I don't get enough sleep I'm no fun. Food too I guess. I must just be one big kid. I'm the person that likes schedules and routines. They help me feel my best and I know it'll help my kids feel their best, especially if they are anything like me.
On a side note, we went and bought a couple baby items today. I want to have one new outfit for each gender for the big gender announcement and ride home from the hospital. Today Marshall found the prefect dress for a little girl. And while we searched high and low, didn't find the 'right' outfit for a baby boy, I couldn't help but walk out of the store more excited than I've ever been for a little girl! Whether boy or girl, we are so excited to meet our little one and know the next two months will fly by as we work to get ready.
On a side note, we went and bought a couple baby items today. I want to have one new outfit for each gender for the big gender announcement and ride home from the hospital. Today Marshall found the prefect dress for a little girl. And while we searched high and low, didn't find the 'right' outfit for a baby boy, I couldn't help but walk out of the store more excited than I've ever been for a little girl! Whether boy or girl, we are so excited to meet our little one and know the next two months will fly by as we work to get ready.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
The Ever Growing Pregnancy To Do List
Sometimes it is so overwhelming being pregnant! I am pretty sure I have come to the conclusion, and try to be ok with it, that there is no way to do everything I am 'suppose' to do while pregnant. It was probably the most frustrating my first trimester when I was so sick... I could barely do anything and everyone had something I needed to start doing right away. And yes, I admit it, I felt guilty for not doing it all. I know lots can relate to that. Whether it is pregnancy, school, work, cleaning, church, or whatever it is easy to 'should' ourselves and feel bad for not doing/being enough.
Just to give you an idea of what I am up against, here are some of the things I am suppose to add to my already full day (I know, it's weird that before I got pregnant I wasn't just sitting around waiting to fill my day with my pregnancy to do's).
Take your prenatal vitamin (and spend lots of money on other nutritional supplements and don't forget to take those even when just the thought of swallowing a pill makes you gag). Have I mentioned that I'm just horrible at remembering and being consistent taking pills?
Drink raspberry tea every single day. Preferable a quart. Seriously? Who actually does that? I am lucky if I get a cup in.... Once in a while.
Eat protein. At least 75 grams a day and more is great. Oh and keep track of it. I am consistently thinking about eating and making sure everything I eat at least has something with protein in it. I usually feel better when I am eating protein so I think I am pretty good at this one (now anyway, when I was in my first trimester protein was the last thing I wanted to eat: gag). However, I am not good at tracking it. I consider it a blessing that I have never been a tracker, not of servings, calories, fat or anything and I don't want to start now! So I tracked my protein for a week (long enough for me to get an idea about how much I'm getting daily), and I feel good that most days I am hitting my quota and going over other days. No guilt here!
Keep a daily log of your babies movements. Track 10 baby movements and time how long it takes. So, I haven't even done this one yet. When I heard about it I was only 22 weeks and movement was pretty inconsistent. I was told to start around 24 weeks. I am now 25 weeks. Haven't started yet.
Do 120 kegels everyday. 120! Seriously? I have no idea how long this would take cause I haven't done it that many times yet. What is hard for me is remembering to do it. I'm currently trying to create some ritual where I am reminded to do my kegels. It just always seems like I'm behind.
Squats. Do them. I can't remember how many squats I'm 'suppose' to do everyday (which should also tell you that I haven't done them!). I do squats. Sometimes. During other workouts or with Marshall, but I guarantee it is not the quota they have given me.
Pelvic thrust. I think it is 60 a day. Maybe it's 120. Obviously I have yet to do that many in one day. I usually try to do some when I am working out. But clearly it is not enough.
Workout. Daily. Let's be honest this should be everyone's goal, all the time. But let's also be honest and just say it doesn't always happen. I have only really made working out a priority since my mission, and I am sure like so many others, I have gone back and forth at how consistent I am. The challenge with pregnancy and exercise is that sometimes I am really tired, or just don't feel physically well and working out is the last thing I want to do. Plus you hear different things. Do prenatal yoga everyday. Don't forget toning and cardio. And you still need to do kegels, squats and pelvic thrusts. It's just a lot. And if I did it all, I am sure I would be working out for an hour and a half everyday. Time... Apparently I need more of it. I swear I try. But I always come up short.
Listen to your hypnobabies CDs everyday and do your finger drop practices daily. I realize this may not apply to everyone, but we have decided to use hypnobabies to help us achieve our goal of a natural birth. If I did all that I was 'suppose' to do with hypnobabies it would easily take me 45 min to an hour. Everyday. Once again... Time. I need it.
I wish that we're the end of the list, but you and I know it isn't. In fact you are probably thinking of other things I should be doing on a regular basis; coconut oil to prevent stretch marks, doctor appointments (which I am doing, don't worry, but just didn't mention), walk, self-care, eat healthy generally, educate yourself on birth and birthing interventions, register, sew stuff for baby, tour the hospital, make a birth plan, and the list really could go on and on. And as important as your advice may be for me, please don't tell me. I can't add anything to my list right now. I promise I will ask you when I am ready for more. I am already falling short and I just can't add something else to my list to just fail at.
And I guess, really this is life. When do we have enough time? When are we not stressed by something? And when do we not wonder if we are doing enough? So... Cope. It's probably not about figuring out how to get it all done, but in figuring out how to be ok when you don't get it done and are stressed. So, I'll keep trying to do as much as I can. But guess what I tell myself when I get overwhelmed with my pregnancy to do list? People have been having babies far longer than these techniques have been around. They did it without hypnobabies and prenatal vitamins. They did it without birth plans and registries. I just remind myself that I will be ok, and my baby too.
Just to give you an idea of what I am up against, here are some of the things I am suppose to add to my already full day (I know, it's weird that before I got pregnant I wasn't just sitting around waiting to fill my day with my pregnancy to do's).
Take your prenatal vitamin (and spend lots of money on other nutritional supplements and don't forget to take those even when just the thought of swallowing a pill makes you gag). Have I mentioned that I'm just horrible at remembering and being consistent taking pills?
Drink raspberry tea every single day. Preferable a quart. Seriously? Who actually does that? I am lucky if I get a cup in.... Once in a while.
Eat protein. At least 75 grams a day and more is great. Oh and keep track of it. I am consistently thinking about eating and making sure everything I eat at least has something with protein in it. I usually feel better when I am eating protein so I think I am pretty good at this one (now anyway, when I was in my first trimester protein was the last thing I wanted to eat: gag). However, I am not good at tracking it. I consider it a blessing that I have never been a tracker, not of servings, calories, fat or anything and I don't want to start now! So I tracked my protein for a week (long enough for me to get an idea about how much I'm getting daily), and I feel good that most days I am hitting my quota and going over other days. No guilt here!
Keep a daily log of your babies movements. Track 10 baby movements and time how long it takes. So, I haven't even done this one yet. When I heard about it I was only 22 weeks and movement was pretty inconsistent. I was told to start around 24 weeks. I am now 25 weeks. Haven't started yet.
Do 120 kegels everyday. 120! Seriously? I have no idea how long this would take cause I haven't done it that many times yet. What is hard for me is remembering to do it. I'm currently trying to create some ritual where I am reminded to do my kegels. It just always seems like I'm behind.
Squats. Do them. I can't remember how many squats I'm 'suppose' to do everyday (which should also tell you that I haven't done them!). I do squats. Sometimes. During other workouts or with Marshall, but I guarantee it is not the quota they have given me.
Pelvic thrust. I think it is 60 a day. Maybe it's 120. Obviously I have yet to do that many in one day. I usually try to do some when I am working out. But clearly it is not enough.
Workout. Daily. Let's be honest this should be everyone's goal, all the time. But let's also be honest and just say it doesn't always happen. I have only really made working out a priority since my mission, and I am sure like so many others, I have gone back and forth at how consistent I am. The challenge with pregnancy and exercise is that sometimes I am really tired, or just don't feel physically well and working out is the last thing I want to do. Plus you hear different things. Do prenatal yoga everyday. Don't forget toning and cardio. And you still need to do kegels, squats and pelvic thrusts. It's just a lot. And if I did it all, I am sure I would be working out for an hour and a half everyday. Time... Apparently I need more of it. I swear I try. But I always come up short.
Listen to your hypnobabies CDs everyday and do your finger drop practices daily. I realize this may not apply to everyone, but we have decided to use hypnobabies to help us achieve our goal of a natural birth. If I did all that I was 'suppose' to do with hypnobabies it would easily take me 45 min to an hour. Everyday. Once again... Time. I need it.
I wish that we're the end of the list, but you and I know it isn't. In fact you are probably thinking of other things I should be doing on a regular basis; coconut oil to prevent stretch marks, doctor appointments (which I am doing, don't worry, but just didn't mention), walk, self-care, eat healthy generally, educate yourself on birth and birthing interventions, register, sew stuff for baby, tour the hospital, make a birth plan, and the list really could go on and on. And as important as your advice may be for me, please don't tell me. I can't add anything to my list right now. I promise I will ask you when I am ready for more. I am already falling short and I just can't add something else to my list to just fail at.
And I guess, really this is life. When do we have enough time? When are we not stressed by something? And when do we not wonder if we are doing enough? So... Cope. It's probably not about figuring out how to get it all done, but in figuring out how to be ok when you don't get it done and are stressed. So, I'll keep trying to do as much as I can. But guess what I tell myself when I get overwhelmed with my pregnancy to do list? People have been having babies far longer than these techniques have been around. They did it without hypnobabies and prenatal vitamins. They did it without birth plans and registries. I just remind myself that I will be ok, and my baby too.
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