I am thankful for my Cohort!!

Let's play again!! Cohort this is for you! Love you all!

A: Allison, Adam, Andy, Addictions Class, Acceptance
B: BBQs, Brooks, Bejeweled, Brian
C: Chrissy, Carol, Christina, Chance, Cabin in Cedar City!
D: Dave, Dehni, Dinners, Dave and Teddy bears,
E: EFT Supervision, emotions,
F: Fufan, Four Wheeling, Family Presentations,
G: Garret, Group-the statment and all,
H: Hugs, help,
I: Intuition, Instinct
J: Jeff Jackson (I just had too), Jonathan,
K: Krysti, Krysti's cooking,
L: Lori, Lexie, Lanae, Liz, Love
M: Matt, Murder Mystery Dinner,
N: no more drama!!
O: Open book exams,
P: Potluck dinners, Processing, Professors,
Q: quick wit,
R: Remie, Real conversations, Repelling, RA (maybe not the work part, but the paycheck part)
S: Safety, Sex Therapy, self of the therapist, support,
T: Tom, Trust, take home tests, Tropping, Therapy, touch
U: Unity, undestanding,
V: Vicky, Vulnerability validation
W: Women's Services and Resources, What if game...love it!
X: The X's in XOXOXOXO
Y: Yetta-that you guys call me this sometimes
Z: ZZZZZZ...sleeping in the interns office.

I love you guys, you are the best!! Thanks for everythin!!

Thanksgiving!

I am stealing this idea from a friends blog (thanks Allison!) So here is the game: Pick a topic and then go through each letter of the alphabet identifying what you are thankful for wuth each letter with the chosen topic. I have already played this game twice! Once was late last night (or early this morning depending on how you look at it) ringing in the Thanksgiving holiday and the second time was while eating Thanksgiving I made my family play it with me! It was quite delightful. So today I am going to play the game with all of you, and the topic is my family :)

A: Anita, Amanda, Aidan,
B: Bitner, Baking,
C: Camilia, Cuddling, Christmas,
D: Daran, Dad, Dallen, D'Marion
E: Ethan,
F: Faye, forgiveness, food fights,
G: Game nights, girls night
H: Hunter, holidays spend together
I: Intuition
J: Jackson, jokes
K: Keedan, kids chirstmas eve dinner
L: laughing, love, late night talks,
M: My Mom, Meredith, Makenna, movie nights, margarita party,
N: Nolan, napping,
O: Olivia,
P: Paxton, Popsicle eating (you know which ones), patience
Q: Question game
R: Ryan, running,
S: Sabrina, Sisters, story telling, Skyping (this one just happened today!)
T: Traditions, talking at once, thanksgiving,
U: United,
V: Voice lessons singing Disney songs,
W: Wendy Runs late at night, walks
X: The X's in XOXOXOXO
Y: Yetta (my nickname given to me by D'Mar)
Z: ZZZZZZ...sleeping in

I am sure I could keep going but we will just leave it at this. Thanks family I love You!!

LIfe Changing Experience

I am so blessed. I have had so many life changing experiences because of my studies. Never have I done something that requires so much of myself while at the same time demanding so much for others. It is stressful, and along with the stress comes the joy, healing, peace, love, compassion, and hope.

One of these life changing experiences was attending an AA or 12-step meeting. This is a meeting to addicts whether they are alcoholics or addicted to any other substance or activity (gambling, eating, etc.). This meeting is sponsored and adapted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is said to be one of the most spiritual meetings out there.

And so I found myself in a room, full of people who describe themselves as addicts. There were about 40 people there. Forty addicts living in 'happy valley.' Think for a minute how you would feel with them. Would that make you anxious? Would you feel comfortable conversing with them? Would you see how different you are from them? Or would you be able to see how similar you are to them?

I may not have an addiction but as I sat and listened to each one of them share their experience I realized I am not much different from them. They are having trials; I am having trials. They are sometimes stubborn and prideful; I am often stubborn and prideful. They struggle to realize that the ONLY way to heal is by turning over and submitting their will to the Lord and his gracious plan He has for them; I struggle with this time and time again. And so I came to realize we are the same. No matter what we are struggling with, the steps of repentance are the same. We must trust the Lord, and then follow His conditions. Then, and only then can we truly be free of what binds us down. We must realize our full dependence upon the Lord and our need to align our life with His teachings. There is really no other way to get lasting healing and peace. And there is no way around this. There is no shortcut. It doesn’t matter if you are tall or short, blonde or brunette, funny or plain, silly or serious, 1,000 feet from the path or only 2, the steps are the same. We are the same. Take another look at that person that you think you can't relate to, that wouldn't understand you, or that you could never understand, and take a closer and deeper look and I bet you will see that you are the same. Let us reach out to each other with what is the same between us instead of letting our differences separate us. We aren't that different from each other. I dare you to look.

What is the Truth?

We turn on the television, we look in a magazine, and what do we see? All sorts of advertisements everywhere we look. We notice flawless skin. We check out the bright white smile. We set eyes on the effortlessly toned muscles. We glimpse the absolutely smooth hair. But are we able to distinguishing what is truth and what isn’t?

Teri Hatcher, a 45 year old actress on Desperate Housewives, decided it was time to reveal the truth. After a hot bath, wrapped in towel, and entirely make-up free, Teri took and posted pictures of herself on Facebook. Little did she realize how these few pictures would be popping up all over social media sites and news channels everywhere.




Then on September 30th Teri appeared on the Oprah show to tell the world what her intent was when posting those pictures. Teri explains what she was thinking; "I just sort of thought, like: 'Is [a photo shoot] the truth? Is this the truth?'" she says. "What are we [as women] telling each other? What are we trying to be?'" Oprah asked her other questions to help understand what Teri believes about beauty. Teri described her definition of beauty as a combination of many different qualities. She commented that she feels most beautiful when she is healthy, which means eating right, exercising, sleeping well, experiencing joy, seeing friends, camping, hiking and of course laughing! Teri also explained that she had no kind of premeditated goal but says, “In hindsight, I feel like clearly there’s a conversation that needs to be had.”

Here at BYU Women’s Services and Resources worked to elicit that conversation in thousands of women with its Recapturing Beauty Campaign. Thousand attended the opening event with Stephanie Nielson where she proclaimed, “I am Stephanie Nielson. And I am not my body.” She shared a new definition of beautiful, and no one has ever radiated beauty like her.

Then hundreds of BYU students completed the 10-day challenge to recapture or redefine our own beauty. One girl said that she enjoyed writing in her journal because she was able to really tell herself that she is beautiful despite all the flaws she sees. Another commented that, “I liked the day we got ready on the inside because I focused more on the things that matter like my testimony and relationships.” Finally another student commented that by writing down 10 things she is grateful for about her body made her realize how great she really is! She said, “I need to appreciate myself more!”

And so the conversation has begun, in several different ways. I hope that this vital conversation will continue past the facebook pictures, past the Oprah show, past Stephanie Neilson, and past the 10-day challenge. Let each of us pass on what we have learned, recaptured, or redefined so that not one soul will be left behind.

I choose to keep this conversation moving. Today I share with all of you a quote from a book entitled Strengthening Our Families. This quote has so many eternal truths embedded within its many words and lines. As I have read, studies, prayed about, pondered, accepted, and integrated this message it has changed my life, the way I live and the way I look at those around me.

"Because it is an eternal absolute, the importance or worth of each individual cannot be affected by people. Worth cannot be increased or decreased; it cannot be annihilated or destroyed. Worthlessness is not an option. Feeling worthless is quite common but it is a feeling based on a false premise. It is erroneous thinking; nothing can make these feelings correct since no person is without eternal worth.

Worth is not of this life and therefore cannot be earned or affected by this life. The worth of each individual is a divine given. It is an inherent aspect of each life. Worth is constant and unchanging. Recognizing our great worth in the sight of God is humbling, and, in fact, is just the opposite of pride. According to Elder Maxwell 'Humility is not the disavowal of our worth; rather it is the sober realization of how much we are valued by God.' Sorting out these truths cognitively is only the first step. We must pray for a testimony, by the Spirit, of our eternal worth- that we are of such great value to Christ that He died for us personally (D&C 18:10-13). By way of the Holy Ghost, we can know for certain that our worth, which is great in the sight of God, is absolute and can never be changed- no matter what we or anyone else thinks, believes, feels, or does."
-Strengthening Our Families (221)


My name is Marietta. I am beautiful just because I exist. And that is truth.

Who am I?

A few weeks ago I left my house to walk to ward prayer. And on my way I happened upon a curious chap. He introduced himself and I followed suit. He then asked me a spin of questions from your typical get to know you game, but instead of asking where I was from or what I was studying he asked “If you had to sum yourself up in one word what would it be?” Wow! One word to sum up my entire existence? There were a few words I wish I could have said with a good conscience, and so instead of actually looking at myself for what I am, I went with the safe humorous response.

“Marriage.”

Of course he laughed and so did I. And so did the many we told that story to. Humor aside that word does have some truth behind it, I mean besides being single and eventually wanting to get married (the only difference between me and every other girl out there is I just said what they all want to say), I am a Marriage and Family therapist. I spend my days talking to engaged, married, divorced, and separated couples. I don’t think anyone analyzes relationships more than me (well except for those who also do what I do). Not only do I analyze relationships but I also analyze people (I am sorry. Even though I know I tell you all that I don’t, sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes I do). Every once and a while I will meet someone be it a man or a women and notice something about their presence. Some would probably call it their personality, but I choose to call it something else: presence, defenses, vulnerabilities, etc. And when I notice these ‘traits’ about someone I wonder and think what it would be like to be married to that person. How that ‘trait’ would affect their partner, the relationship. Yeah I know I am weird. But it is what I do. So in all honesty, marriage really is a word that can describe me.

Now I sit at home thinking about all the other words I wanted to say but wasn’t able to say. Are they really not true, or am I too afraid to see them in myself? So now when I look into the mirror what do I see? Who am I really? What is my one word that could sum me up? One word, only one.
While I am not sure that this word really sums me up all that well, I would love it if it could one day. I had a dear friend come to my house today, and comment on my comment in sunday school. I won’t go into the details about my comment other than to say it was a very tender and vulnerable place for me. She thanked me for making that comment, she told me that it opened the door for other comments to be made where, at least for her, she was able to think about some real stuff and learn some powerful things. That meant a lot. So one word that I would love to be able to sum me up is REAL. Does that sound too simple to you? It’s not for me. For me it means so many things. It means honest, secure in my insecurities, to know myself and to not be ashamed, and to be able to connect with those around you. To me this is huge. Maybe as big as it gets. And while I know I am not there yet I hope I can continue to grow and to get there, or at least get close.

Oh to be a Chef...

I have this secret dream of becoming an amazing chef. I don't mean the kind that have to work nights in a restaurant, I mean just for myself and the people I love. Being able to eat food that tastes better than any restaurant, all in the comfort of my own home. So what is holding me back from realizing my dream? I am not a horrible cook, and my undergraduate degree even involved cooking, so why am I not doing it? I recently left the grocery store thinking about my purchases and actually feeling a little down as I realized how much frozen food I had bought. I thank school for that one. There are some days where I am at the clinic for 12 hours, in which I eat all three meals there. I try not to eat out, and cooking is difficult, but you have to eat, right? So with limited time, and pretty much living at the clinic my dream will have to go on hold....or will it.

I know I can't cook everyday but once in a while would be nice. And today was my once in while. I made pressed chicken with yellow squash and tomatoes. It was perfect for a hot summer day, didn't take a lot of time (30 min), and didn't have to buy a lot of ingredients. Perfect for me. And yes, it tastes as good as it looks! so until my next once in a while...

Things I am Learning

I have recently been reminded time and time again that I need to update my blog, but time and time again I am not sure what to write about. In some ways I don't know what to write because I feel like I have changed so much since the beginning of the year that anything I write would turn out to be long and way too complicated to explain. So I am going to attempt to share a part of my experience, and to keep it simple. Only a part. A piece. A snapshot.

Tonight I went with a college to a Relief Society mid week activity to share a little bit on communication. It was an absolutely amzing time. I love what I do. And that feels wonderfully fulfilling. My friend, Garret, shared a scripture that I have been thinking about lately (it was also mentioned on another friends blog), it is in Mosiah 18 where they are talking about the the baptismal covenant, that we will mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that need comfort. The part that I think is interesting is that it doesn't say we will comfort those that mourn. Why is that? Why is it that we are to mourn with those that mourn? Is mourning with someone really going to help them? Shouldn't we be trying to make things better? Isn't that what we have always been taught? Taught that we need to help people feel better? Taught that being sad or mourning are not productive feelings? and yet right here in the scriptures plain as day, we are to mourn with those that mourn, not comfort them, not fix it, and not change those feelings. Coriantumr says, "I mourned and refused to be comforted." Feeling someone's pain is power. For both parties involved. It is also healing, feeling the pain is the first step in healing. So why is it so scary for me and maybe for you to lead others to feel that pain and to feel my own pain? That is the part I don't know yet, but I want to get there. I want to understand myself better, and to be comfortable enough with my own mourning and that of others so I can mourn with them and truly keep my covenants.

Tis the Season to Give

Ok so this is a little bit late, but I wanted to share the experience anyway cause it was amazing. So first off, I am dating an amazing guy right now. He is amazing, and that is about the only way I know how to describe him :) He brought up the idea that we should do a service project as part of our Christmas Season this year. So we brainstormed together and came up with this idea:

First we sent out a sheet the Sunday before Thanksgiving advertising homemade rolls for Thanksgiving. They were a little bit pricey, $5 for a dozen but we explained that all the proceeds would be going to a good cause: Sub for Santa

Once we saw how many people signed up I started to get really nervous. We were going to have to make over 300 rolls, and they would have to all be made the day before Thanksgiving. I'll be honest I started to get more than a little stressed as I tried to figure out how we (just the two of us) were going to do this. Jordan calmed my nerves by making a timing chart and I started to feel better.

And so it began. We started mixing dough Tuesday night at around eleven, until 3am. Here is a picture of part of the dough while it was rising.

Here is Jordan, doesn't he look happy?! He had so much fun rolling the dough into balls, and placing them in the muffin tins.

After all the dough had risen we got to sleep for 3 hours and began the baking process. All in all it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was a lot of fun, and I dare say that Jordan and I make a pretty good team!! Camilia graciously offered to cook some rolls at her house. She spent all morning on Wednesday cooking! Camilia you are the best! Thank you soo much!

By 3pm on Wednesday we had made, cooked, and delivered over 300 rolls! Here is picture of all the rolls. I honestly can't believe we made that many in 15 hours!!

We ended up making over $200 dollars. So the next step was to apply to the Sub for Santa program. We decided we could afford to help out three children. A couple weeks later we got our family and began shopping. It was a lot of fun to pick stuff out for them, and also really stressful because we didn't exactly know what they would like. But we still had a good time shopping.

Then we got to deliver them to the family. They were very gracious and thankful, and we were just excited that we got to help! It was truly an amazing experience. I have always wanted to help with Sub for Santa but have never done it until now. I just want to say thanks to Jordan (even though he can't read this) for being proactive with me and being willing to cook 300 rolls! He is Great!