My Compliments Journal

For some reason negativity seems to have more 'power' (I am not sure if that is really the word that I want to use, but I am going to use it) than positivity (is that a word?). According to a pretty big therapist and researcher, John Gottman, in our marital relationships we need to have 20 positive interactions for every one negative interaction on a day to day basis, and during conflict we still need 5 positives for every 1 negative. That tells me we need a lot of positives! And even though his research is reflective of marital interactions, I would daresay that it would also transfer over to our relationship or interactions with our self.

Now to be honest it isn't always hard to think or tell myself the negative things... and when I am in that mindset it is extremely hard to remember the good things about myself. Truth be known, I do want to remember those good things about myself... and how am I suppose to remember those things unless I write them down (I feel like this could be a whole other post about journal writing and remembering and stuff, but I am not headed that way). And instead of writing them down in my private journal I have decided to write them here. For one, I think they will be easier to find when I really need to remind myself what I do have going for me, and two I think it can be powerful when we can stand up and say good things about our self and do so in a humble way (I hope I do this). I hope that as you read this you think of those positive things about your self... and if you so desire tell me what they are! I would love to hear it! Seriously! I love when people have good things to say, about others yes, but especially about themselves. So here is my first post about compliments I have received.

Just a few days ago my incredible amazing wish I could be like her in so many ways roommate took me to the spa to get a facial for my birthday. I said she was amazing, didn't I? And it was all a surprise... I love surprises! Anyway, back to the story at hand. I won't lie, I was a little anxious... even though I try to be comfortable not wearing make up, I still get nervous not wearing makeup when I have breakouts (and boy do I have them... lame! I thought they went away after adolescents not started after : p). So there I was super self conscious, totally focusing on the negative, when she proceeds to tell me:

'You have the softest skin.' huh, yeah I guess, I do. I never really thought about it (I also heard this one a few days later from a random guy squished next to me on a car ride, and I really am starting to believe it).
'Your pores are so small, you can barely see them.' Oh, yeah. I forget to even think about them because I can't see them.
'You virtually have no black heads. Nice.' Oh I don't? huh, who knew. Wow that is nice.

I walked out of that facial feeling great about myself. I hope I can remember these small things that I normally don't even notice. As we left me and my roommate shared experiences and it was interesting that she was also able to share some of your strengths about her skin... the neat part was that her strengths were unique to her and mine unique to me. We are not the same, but each have something different to offer.

Well, there you go. I say bring on the positive. So tell me please, what are your strengths about your skin?